« October 2009 | Main | December 2009 »

November 30, 2009

meant to be

I can't stand it when people say "it was meant to be" or "everything happens for a reason" or "I just need to find the lesson in here" as if everything happens for the purpose your your higher education. All these phrases, meant to comfort people when times are tough and unpredictable (though the first one is more often used when times are going great), have this assumption embedded in them of a higher power and the idea that world centers around the person in question. While some events might be avoided had you learned the lesson beforehand it is just as likely, or more likely that things are out of our control beyond the ability of learning any lessons. Sometimes divorces could be avoided but sometimes people just change. Sometimes accidents are a result of your own negligence, but other times they happen when you were doing everything right. Sometimes people get fired or laid-off for no reason of their own. And sometimes people meet the love of their life later than they expected - but it doesn't mean it was meant to be. I don't believe that all my previous relationships failed just so I could meet this one special person.

I agree that all events have a certain amount of opportunity in them - and instead of moaning and groaning, if we can have the equanimity and presence mind to move forward then we can look for a possible brighter side. We can use uncommon events as a time for reflection, redirection, and opening our mind to possibilities that perhaps were unseen or unavailable before.

But the world does not revolve around us and for every event that brings opportunity there are also ones that bring death, starvation, homelessness, loneliness, and confusion because you thought you understood the world but really, not only are we not in control, but the world is also too diverse and large for us to understand.

Yeah, I hate hearing that last one too. I want the world to make sense like a math puzzle or a recipe. I want to have the perfect grand unification theory of everything. However, when I do, when I think I have it all figured out, that is when I am not opening my eyes to possibilities that don't make sense but are there anyway.

Go figure - but not too hard...