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June 27, 2007

special day

Today was a special day. I realized I have lived exactly the same amount of days as my oldest brother when he died. I am slightly superstitious so I am relieved to have made it through alive (though both of my other brothers passed this mile stone with no issues that I am aware of.

All day I kept thinking, "so this is how many days he had." Granted we have both lived very different lives so although the number of days is similar there really is no comparison. It is similarly weird to think about the fact that when my parents were my age they had four children.

Nonetheless, it doesn't feel like enough time for me. My brother was very peaceful when he died but he had also been dealing with (colon) cancer for three years. Perhaps during that time he finally decided that this was enough days (especially since he didn't have much of a choice). Every day tons of people's lives are cut short. Is it ever really enough days? Even my grandmother at age 95 would have gladly taken a few more if the pain weren't so bad.

June 17, 2007

summer high

I am nauseous with a height of summer hangover. This is ideal at this time of year and only slightly a result of too much alcohol – excess in general is the root cause. Somehow this weekend I combined a two-day national co-op conference with a short road trip, staying in a hotel, connecting with old friends I rarely see, new friends in the making, two parties, a late night of dancing and consistent if not heavy drinking.

If I were my parent I would ground me now – not as the punishment noun or state of being but rather as a much needed verb in the “you are going to get into serious trouble if you don’t slow down? way. Alas I am not my parent and my tired wrung-out body is crying like a whiny child to go outside! There are bicycles to ride! Lakes and rivers to swim and canoe! Music to move to! People to meet and see! The season beckons - the last thing I want to do is stay home, clean my room, and cook some brown rice and vegetables.

Perhaps there is a way to do it all…

June 12, 2007

aw sum

I've moved into summer mode. I know it doesn't officially start for another week and a half but with the temperature in the 90's and several gorgeous days in a row filled with parties, impromptu socializing and out door activities combined with odd sleeping hours makes me feel super in tune with the season.

Not much time for reading these days.