miriamSpace

I adopted a kitty yesterday. He is all black, with soft downy fur, and an adorable worried expression on his face. He is cuddly always but quite timid so only plays once he feels comfortable.

We already have a cat who came, much loved, with my boyfriend. She is surprisingly playful for a four-year-old and quite talkative. I love her with all my heart.

When I decided to adopt a kitty, I looked forward to a young playmate for Frida - someone who wouldn't mind being up at two in the morning. When I met Milo, I knew he would be perfect. He was timid enough to let her rule the roost but playful enough that they would be able to keep each other entertained. I envisioned two fluff balls chasing toys through the house and climbing on things and darting under other things. My sweetheart says someday this will happen.

But the current reality is tough. Miles is so shy unless I pull him out to cuddle, he hides under the bed (and then, once he's all loved up he plays for a little while before running under the bed again). Frida when she smells him gets angry and hisses. So for now we have to keep them separate - for the first time ever doors are shut tight in our apartment. And then I worry about my new little kitten - has he come out from under the bed yet? Is he lonely? Worried? Scared? I really hope he's not eating my bamboo plant again. I wish I had swept and mopped under the bed recently...

Posted by Miriam at 07:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I keep thinking about economics, which is difficult because I don't know much about the subject.

At work I've become the data person. I love numbers when they relate to something concrete - the latter part of that sentence is just important as the first part (and why I am not a mathematician). My assumption is that economics is relational data. It is based on measuring the flow of energy, in the form of goods and services and sometimes dollars or other currency. However, too often it seems to just measure the flow in a straight line instead of a circular one - with "waste" being the end product. As a Buddhist I know there is no such thing as waste - or if there is it is a verb and not a noun. I'd like to study the difference between what I call "traditional linear" economics and a circular one - which is what I believe we are moving into as we realize how small this planet is and how finite our resources are.

In the February edition of the Economist (I am still catching up on my reading), there is a special section on data. I had never thought of data as a "waste product" until reading this:
Mr Mundie of Microsoft and Eric Schmidt, the boss of Google, sit on a presidential task force to reform American healthcare. "Early on in this process Eric and I both said: 'Look, if you really want to transform health care, you basically build a sort of health-care economy around the data that relate to people'," Mr Mundie explains. "You would not just think of data as the 'exhaust' of providing health services, but rather they become a central asset in trying to figure out how you would improve every aspect of health care. It's a bit of an inversion."

This inversion is exactly the sort we talk about in the zero-waste world, where we too feel we are at the exhaust pipe of the production chain, catching whatever those dudes at the top feel like feeding through the engine. Who knew that zero-waste and health care reform had so much in common?

What other applications will wake up to waste created by thinking linear instead of circular (and who knew the latter could ever be a good thing). In a circular economy, as in the real world, there is no tail pipe, there is no "away". The smoke that leaves the engine simply enters our bodies, plants, and whatever else happens to be around. Not only does it cause physical harm, but as the tech geeks above mention, it is a wasted opportunity too. Do a quick search how many airplanes can be built each year from the aluminum we casually discard. And now I wonder, how much information is lost because systems aren't designed around getting the most out it. I'd love to start thinking about how to design a system, an economy centered around no tail pipe. But first I should probably learn more about our current economies work.

Posted by Miriam at 12:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Its been rainy here for nearly a week.
The sun is a distant memory and all I recall are the drip drip drips of the drops and gray color of the sky that seems to seep down and surround everything muting what little color exists at the end of winter in a northern climate.

Not so great weather for a walk and all the good novels have been read. Its not a verb but somehow I feel noveled up. If I had kids they'd be climbing the walls. Instead it is just my inner child I have to deal with. And the cat. She is literally climbing the walls but that happens on sunny days as well since she is an indoor cat in regular wont of playful company.

The house is clean enough... I guess that means it is time for making messes and crafting!

Even when I tire of it, I love weather. It provides me with the kind of structure that drives other people to stay in school or join the military.

Posted by Miriam at 10:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The bus was quiet today - I never realized Martin Luther King day was so celebrated. I tried to feel positive about that instead of just sad that I was among the few who still had to work. I quickly realized the irony since I like my job and I am working for justice - environmental as much as social justice - something I believe Dr King would support today.

On my way to work I was one of two riders. Last week people had to stand it in the bus was so crowded. On my way home ridership had increased by thirty percent! I was one of three.

There was a beggar on the offramp as we exited the highway. I looked at her noticing her worn clothes and raggedy sign crafted from an old box and felt as I usually do, a bit of hopeless sorrow. This woman, or someone like her is at this intersection most days during rush hour. Due to the holiday there was no wait at the intersection and I watched her behind the protective glass of the bus window as we sped past. I wondered if she realized it was a holiday and why there was minimal traffic. I assume rush hour at this location is a lucrative spot. Would she get more or less donations on a day like this?

To my surprise there was another beggar at the next stop light and this one looked me in the eye - the protection of the glass doesn't hide as much as I thought. How do you look at a beggar? I want to give them dignity without inspiring a false hope that I might give them cash, which I never do. I reflect back on stories of beggars and realize I have an assumption that if I look at them with dignity (whatever that is) they might recover and work their way to not being a beggar. The ridiculousness of this hits me - and I become aware that it stems not from a place of actually wanting to connect with this person but rather from a place of me wanting to look good in the world. Its is amazing how quickly I went from thinking about someone's very real suffering to focusing on me.

Posted by Miriam at 07:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Posted by Miriam at 12:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My beloved guinea pig Mani passed away this morning. There will be no service, there will be no memorial. But I will write about her here and remember all that she taught me and her special traits.

Mani you were named after the Sankrit word for jewel and the Spanish slang for peanut.

At first you were in a cage but you had such odd hours. Sometimes you would run around your little cage but then when I put you on the floor you would hide under the couch.

So I decided to let you run free in my room - my little jeweled peanut. You loved to do your exercises after I went to bed. I could hear you doing laps around the rug that was your race track. You were so fast.

And clever. You loved to hide under the dresser or in the closet and when I put things to block the way you spent hours poking and exploring until you found a way through the obstacle and into your cozy dark hiding place.

You were the first being that I gladly rearranged my life for with no thought of return other than the joy of your joy. A special bed that you could not hide under was built. Things arranged so you had the maximum race track room. I carefully ensured that you had enough cozy spaces to hide under but not too many that I couldn't keep them clean.

And although shy at first you were a social bird. When the girls came over and we sat on the floor you would walk around and smell everyone's feet (which I am sure you thought were lots of strange guinea pigs). Any quick movements sent you dashing for safety but then your curiosity would get the best of you and you'd come tottering out again. You didn't like to be held (too much loss of control I assume) but when approached in the right gentle way, you loved a good chin scratch or side rub.

You loved it when I did the laundry, hanging it from the rack. You would dart in and out of the clothes. And when I tossed a load of clean dry clothes on the floor you would play with them as I did the folding. You could never resist checking anything out that was dumped on the floor - it was your domain and girl, you knew it. You owned that floor.

You kept the demons away when I felt them creep on the edges of my loneliness. I wasn't scared of the dark with you around - even if it was just because I knew the monsters would eat you first. But I'd hear you rustling around and know that as long as you felt safe I felt safe.

We shared four wonderful years together. A good long life for a guinea pig. Memories of you will always flit through my mind and dance across my heart. Thank you for our time together.

If you are reborn, may it be in a better life where you have the freedoms and favorable conditions to practice immediately after taking birth.

May you know happiness; may you know the causes of happiness.

Posted by Miriam at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I can't stand it when people say "it was meant to be" or "everything happens for a reason" or "I just need to find the lesson in here" as if everything happens for the purpose your your higher education. All these phrases, meant to comfort people when times are tough and unpredictable (though the first one is more often used when times are going great), have this assumption embedded in them of a higher power and the idea that world centers around the person in question. While some events might be avoided had you learned the lesson beforehand it is just as likely, or more likely that things are out of our control beyond the ability of learning any lessons. Sometimes divorces could be avoided but sometimes people just change. Sometimes accidents are a result of your own negligence, but other times they happen when you were doing everything right. Sometimes people get fired or laid-off for no reason of their own. And sometimes people meet the love of their life later than they expected - but it doesn't mean it was meant to be. I don't believe that all my previous relationships failed just so I could meet this one special person.

I agree that all events have a certain amount of opportunity in them - and instead of moaning and groaning, if we can have the equanimity and presence mind to move forward then we can look for a possible brighter side. We can use uncommon events as a time for reflection, redirection, and opening our mind to possibilities that perhaps were unseen or unavailable before.

But the world does not revolve around us and for every event that brings opportunity there are also ones that bring death, starvation, homelessness, loneliness, and confusion because you thought you understood the world but really, not only are we not in control, but the world is also too diverse and large for us to understand.

Yeah, I hate hearing that last one too. I want the world to make sense like a math puzzle or a recipe. I want to have the perfect grand unification theory of everything. However, when I do, when I think I have it all figured out, that is when I am not opening my eyes to possibilities that don't make sense but are there anyway.

Go figure - but not too hard...

Posted by Miriam at 09:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)